Freaks Macintosh Archive/Freaks Macintosh Archive.bin/Freaks Macintosh Archives/Textfiles/zines/Midnight-Raid/midnightRAID_iss4.docmaker.sit/midnightRAID_iss4.docmaker.rsrc/TEXT_160.txt

Text File | 1999-03-25 | 27KB | 571 lines

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈                                ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈ ThE HaX0R bRoThErS NeWzLetTeR  ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈ -----------------------------  ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈             By                 ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈      Hax0rWang & |=|4x0r       ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈                                ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈           IsSuE #5             ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈                                ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
------------------------------->pH33r Us<-----------------------------------
   SiTe Of tHe MoNtH-->http://www.sinnerz.com/haxor<--HtNoM eHt fO eTiS

YeS w3 GoT THiZ iSSuE ouT a LiTTlE EaRlY dUe t0 PoPulAr DeMaNd bY aLL TheSe
FuxInG lAmuRz. y0y0y0 ph33r uZ BiTcHZ. wE hax0ReD iT aLL aNd j00 MiGhT bE
NeXt. WhY d0 wE wRiTe ThiZ NewLeTTeR? WeLL FoR oNe... w3 FeEl SoRRy FoR j00
LaMuRz s0 wE THoUGhTeD wE'd TrY t0 heLp j00 OuT. AnD FoR TwO.. wE GeT moRE
pUsSY OuT oF iT. oH ThiS IsSuE iS aLL bY Hax0rWang CuZ |-|4x0r iS aT CaMp.
oH wAiT.. h3 JuSt Hax0rEd SoMe ArTiCleZ iN hERe..


CoNtEnTs:
uS HaXoRs In MiRc.........................................................1
phAn MaIl.................................................................2
ArE jEW Er33t !??@#!......................................................3
AnArChY wItH TuRtLeZ......................................................4
HaXiNg AnD SeX............................................................5
1-800-AbCdEfG.............................................................6
lEtTeR fRuM |-|4x0r aT kAmP...............................................7
Da HaX0r BrOz. FaQ!@#.....................................................8
nEwZ j00z CaN yEwSe!......................................................9
HaCKiNG StUFFeD AnImaLz...................................................10
lAyMuRz Of thE MOnTh@!@...................................................11
gReEtZ aNd ShOuToUtZ......................................................12

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈  uS HaXoRs In MiRc  ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
#2600 (eFnEt)
<Hax0rWanG> FuXinG lAmuR j00 DoNt JuSe MIcRoSOfT uNiX!@!@
[9:39] <WillTell> jew will sukorz my asshole
<Hax0rWanG> iLL bl00 BoX j00r aSShOlE
<Hax0rWanG> i DiD thAt t0 EmmaNeuL
[9:39] <decious> werd
<Hax0rWanG> hE hAS An UnSeCuRe AnaL caViTy
[9:39] <decious> sup willtell
[9:40] *** sniper sets mode: -o+b Hax0rWanG *!wang@*.l33t.org
[9:40] *** disappear (~[e-mail]) has joined #2600
[9:40] *** You were kicked by sniper (bye)

BuT WaIT thEy GoT SCaReD aNd LeT mE BaCk iN!

[9:49] <sniper> Hax0r
[9:49] <sniper> my man
<Hax0rWaNg> jEy LaMuR
[9:49] <sniper> Hax0rWaNg, What OS are you running agian:
[9:49] <sniper> ?
[9:49] <sniper> again
<Hax0rWaNg> MiCRoSOft UnIX '97
[9:49] *** freet0 ([e-mail]) has joined #2600
[9:49] <duro> bahah
[9:49] <sniper> hahah
[9:49] <sniper> told ya
<Hax0rWaNg> i7Z er33t
[9:49] <sniper> HAHAH
[9:50] <sniper> hahaha
<Hax0rWaNg> DeWdZ j00r aLL 0wNeD
[9:50] <sniper> HAHAHA
[9:50] * duro is running Microsoft Solaris '98
<Hax0rWaNg> ThaT DoeSnT ExSiST
<Hax0rWaNg> j00 LiaR
[9:50] <duro> yes it does
[9:50] <duro> heh
<Hax0rWaNg> LaMuR iLL fUXinG r3d BoX j00
[9:50] *** c3l has quit IRC (...)
[9:50] <duro> bahah
[9:50] <sniper> red box me?
[9:51] <sniper> HAHAHHA
<Hax0rWaNg> YeAH BIAtCh
[9:51] <sniper> Your so dumb..
<Hax0rWaNg> j00 GoNNa DiE
[9:51] <sniper> god damnit. .
<Hax0rWaNg> DeWD iM 31337 AnD j00r LaMe
[9:51] <sniper> this guy is the biggest joke
[9:51] <sniper> Well i should say kid..
<Hax0rWaNg> lIVe wiTh IT
[9:51] <sniper> WhY Do YoU TaLk So LaMe LiKe ThIs
<Hax0rWaNg> ThiZ iS l33T0
[9:52] <sniper> HAHAHHA
[9:52] <sniper> No
[9:52] <sniper> its lame.
<Hax0rWaNg> JeaH
<Hax0rWaNg> j00R lAMe
[9:52] <sniper> Hax0rWaNg, There is no microsoft Unix
[9:52] <sniper> haha
[9:52] <sniper> so
<Hax0rWaNg> j00 DoNt HaVe MiCroSoFt uniX
<Hax0rWaNg> wAnnA bEt!!!@!@
<Hax0rWaNg> go to www.dis.org/se7en/haxor
[9:52] <sniper> hahaah
<Hax0rWaNg> TheRE iZ A mICroSOFt UniX
<Hax0rWaNg> i WrOTe linUx BuT SOme BiTcH SToLe iT fRom m3
[9:53] <sniper> HAHAHA
[9:53] *** sniper changes topic to "<Hax0rWaNg> i WrOTe linUx BuT SOme
BiTcH SToLe iT fRom m3"
<Hax0rWaNg> i WrOtE iN VisUaL bASiC t00
[9:53] <sniper> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<Hax0rWaNg> j00 WaNNa STeP uP t0 ThiZ
[9:53] <sniper> HAAHAHAH
[9:53] <sniper> Little boy
[9:53] <sniper> go home..
[10:02] *** sniper sets mode: -o+b Hax0rWaNg *!wang@*.leet.net
[10:02] *** demos ([e-mail]) has
joined #2600
<Hax0rWaNg> LaMURZ
<Hax0rWaNg> ScaReD arE J00
[10:02] *** You were kicked by sniper (YOU OWN YOUR MOM!)
****************************************************************************

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=PhAn MaIl=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

To: [e-mail]
From: [e-mail]
Subject: Hey

yo faggots
when you going to release newzletter 5. oh yeh..and they comment about
linux being coded in VB...its true...i helped them do it

OuR rEpLy: ShuDDUp BiTCH wE aInT FaGGoTZ wE 0wN j00! aNd j00 DiDnT hElP iN
LiNuX cUz w3 MaDe iT! LaMuR AnaL FaG bITCh.

To: [e-mail]
From: [e-mail]
Subject: Your zine

I was wondering if you mind if I post your mags on my site.
            -CyberToast

OuR rEpLy: SuRe SaVeZ uS FrOm HaVinG t0 hax0r j00!

To: [e-mail]
From: [e-mail]
Subject: No im serious

It was a real question. Im not Emmanuel... I PROMISE

OuR REPlY: GiVe iT uP YoU aNaLLy ChaLLaNgeD whOrE.

To: [e-mail]
From: [e-mail]
Subject: JeW R 2 3|337

I ran across your page from se7en's. And I had to tell you, I havent
laughed like that in years. I really loved your newsletters, almost as
funny as the happy hacker, the sad part is this is really what the
"scene" has become Aol/wind0ze kiddes thinking the can hack cuz they read
that 2600 rag. Well keep up the good work. And |=|4x0r |)4 P|4n3t ;-)

OuR rEpLY: St0p HiTTinG oN mE... mY wAnG iZ t0 Er33t f0r j00!@!@ bLuE r0s3
GoNNa GeT bl00 BoXeD biZniTcH!~!~!!@@! FuX AoL FuX UnIx... MiCroSoFt UnIX
iN dA HOuSe BiAtch!!!@! AnYwaYz... StEp oFF mY SaCk. LoTz oF LoVe.

To: [e-mail]
From: [e-mail]
Subject: god i can't read yer page.

god, don't you think that is just a little lame, "k-rad" "lammahs"
AaBbCcDdEeFf, c'mon it really gets old, and fuxor or whatever isn't the
first autohacker around, infected made one to, and they are leet,

oUr RePlY: hEy@!@ DiDnT j00 MaKe AoHeLL ?

To: [e-mail]
From: [e-mail]
Subject: Preferred Customer

Our logs show that you are logged on to schoolgirls-r-us.com at least 17 out
of the 24 hours of the day. We would like you to know that we have upgraded
your account to the preferred customer one. Thank you!

oUr RePLy: s0 LiKe... d0 I GeT moRe BiTCheZ?


≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈  ArE jEW Er33t !??@#!  ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

WeLL bItCh ArE jEw!? w3 hAx0r Br0tHerZ ouT oF bOReDOm DeCiDeD t0 CHeCk uP oN
WhaT j00 LiTTlE pEOplE ConSidEr 31337. oF CouRsE wE kNoW j00r aLL LaMuRz wHo
WiSH ThEy CouLD HeX EdIt BuT j00 CaN StiLL DreAM bAyBe!@!#!@ s0 NoW.. oN WiT
ThE /<-RaDiCaL SuRvEy!!@!@

1. WhEn j00 Hax0r d0 j00 UsE
 - A. MiCrOsoFt UnIX
 - b. ApPlE mAc ][
 - c. AnaL LiNuX os/2
 - d. BiNd A dIdLO t0 A sOCkeT cpp!~@!#!@(#$!@

2. WhIcH iZ ThE BeSt b0x?
 - A. bl00 BoX
 - b. ReD b0x
 - c. AnAl BoX
 - d. Hax0rWaNgZ nUtZ oN uRe LiPz BoX

3. WhO mAdE lInUx?
 - A. |-|4x0r
 - b. Linus Jizzlobber
 - c. EmmanueL GiMpStIeN
 - d. se7en

4. WhAtZ CERT stAnD f0r?
 - A. CoCkZ EnTeRinG ReCtUm TeSt
 - b. CrisPY EaRz (are) ReaLLy TaSteY
 - c. ComPuTeR EmeRgEnCY ReDbOX TeAM
 - d. CERT.. ThE k k00l CaNdIe MeNt BreAtH ThinGyZ

5. WhO iZ tHe LaMeSt
 - A. Emmanuel Goldstein
 - b. so1o
 - c. Carolyn Meinal (BiTcH GiveZ g00d HeaD th0)
 - d. Materva (THaT hIdEoUt d0rK)

oK oK oK... n0w ThiZ sHiT

Who iZ cOOlEr:
1. Hax0rWaNg (j00 BeSt PiCk mE bITcH cUZ iM WrITeInG thiZ)
2. |-|4x0r (STiLL aN 31337 DeWd)

TheN aFtEr j00 DoNe ThaT sHiT TyPe uP j00r oWn ComMENtZ aNd SeNd TheM t0
EitHeR [e-mail] or [e-mail]

aLsO wE waNNa KnOw Wh0 wAnTz ThErE NaMe MeNTiOneD moST iN OuR nEwZlEtTeRZ.
EmaIl uZ wITh WhY wE SHoUlD mEnTioN j00r NaME aNd iF iTz cOOL j00 WiLL haVe
uRe NaMe MeNtiOnEd iN nEXt IssuEz sToRy CaLLeD: Mr LaMuR GeTz AnaL BoXeD

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈ AnArChY wItH TuRtLeZ ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈


SiNc3 j00 aLL LovED AnaRcY wItH c0wZ wE DeCiDeD t0 ShoW yEw LaMurZ whAt uZ
31337 PeOpLe d0 wItH tUrTlEz!@ WhY TuRtLeZ? CuZ ThEy MaKe CooLeR SouNDs WhEn
j00 BloW TheM uP!@!@

1. TuRtLe RoCkEts: oK FiRsT j00 NeEd OnE lIvE TuRtLe. YoU TaKe ThE TuRtLe
AnD ShOvE a LiL TuBe uP iTZ aSSHoLe.. NeXt PoUr GuN pOWdeR iN iTz AssHoLe
aNd puT a FuSe iN iT. PoInT tHe TuRtLe aT tHe TaRgEt aND LiGhT thE FuSe..
kablAMMmMAMAMAMAMMM!@!@!@ iT ShOOtZ oUt oF iTz ShELL aT /<-]<ooL SpEEd aNd
MaKeZ a neEt0 *POP* SouND..ThiS CaN KnOcK dOwN BuiLDinGs aND shIT.

2. FeEd ThEm LoTz oF ExPloSiVe ShIT aNd PoUr SmOkE CoKe DOwN iTz MoUtH. ThEn
TaKe ThOsE LiL PoPPy ThinGyZ pEoPLe ThrOw aT eaCh OTheR oN tHe 4tH oF jUlY
aND wHEneVEr THeY UsE FirEwORkZ. THe uMMmMM sNAPpeRs. SHoVe ThoSe DowN iTz
ThRoaT. TheN GlUe ThE TuRtLe t0 A sTrEEt oR SOMeThInG.. AnD THeRe u HaVe iT
TuRtLe LANDmInEz!!@!@!@!#!#!#!

3. TiE NuClEaR WaR HeaDz t0 ThE BoTToM oF thE TuRtLEZ SHeLL aNd HaVe A TiMeR
SeT oN iT. TheN lEt iT LooSe t0 WaLk iN a MaLL oR SoMeTHinG. *wARnING* uMMmM
lIkE... DoNt StiCK ArOuND t0 WaTCH iF YoU dO thIs OnE.

4. PiCk ThE moTheRfUCkeR uP aNd ThrOw iT aT sOMeOnE!!! ShiT biTcH THaT WiLL
FuCKinG HurT.

5. GeT A sNaPPiNG TuRtLe ANd SeT iT oN sOmEoNeS FaCe oR sHoVe ThE TuRtLeZ
HeAd uP ThE ReCtUm.. NeAt ReSuLTs!

TuRtLe NO-NOz:

NeVeR LeT mOMMy oR DaDDy CaTcH JeW... iT GoT mE sPaNx0rEd. ALsO DonT J00Se
BaBy TuRtLeZ cuZ ThEY jUsT gO SpLaT.... SuRE iT LooKz coOL BuT NoT muCH
DaMaGE.


≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈ HaXiNg AnD SeX ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

s0 s0 s0... WoNdErInG iF l33t pEOplE lIkE uS GeT LaiD? oF CouRsE wE d0. aLL
ReAl Hax0Rz (YeS aLL TwO oF uS) GeT pUsSy DaYLy. AnD yES... TheY aLL WeRe
WiLLiNG!!@!@ BuT.. uS haXoRz d0 iT a SpeCiaL WaY.. w3 WroTe A SiMplE pRoGrAM
FoR iT. CuZ iT mAkEz ArE WaNGz MoRe eReEt. s0 iM GoNNa SHaRe iT wItH j00
NoW.

/* FuCKdAtBitCH.c WRiTTeN bY ThE haX0r Br0ThErZ t0 InCreaSe ThIeR SeXuaL
PowERZ... WoRkZ goOd.. NoW OpEn tO tHe PuBliC...                         */

#include <hardwang.h>
#include <pussy.h>
#include <k-y.h>
#include <bed.h>

main()
{
    printf(" ohHhhhH BaBY FuXoR mE \n");
    if=WeT
    then StiCk_iT_iN
        int_pump int_pumpHaRDeR int_moan
    JiZZ_oN_ThE-BiTCh
    printf(" oH YoUr GoOD BaYbE \n");
}

/* SiMpLe CoDe t0 GeT YoUr WaNg WeT */

oHHhHhH anD wHATz uP nOw!?!?@! w3 GoTz AnOtHer ChaLLaNgE fOr YoU lAmUrZ. wE
WaNt SoMe HaX0r BiTCh t0 WrItE tHe CoDe FoR a ChIc t0 UsE iF sHe WaNtZ t0
BeTTeR PleaSe A HaX0r DuDe. EmaIL uS aNd iF YoUr GoOD (aNd ReADiNg YoUr CoDe
GiVeS uS a StIFFy) ThEn w3 WiLL pOsT iT iN IsSuE 6. s0 GeT WiTh iT Fux0rZ.

Oh AnD wHaT tHE hELL hErE iS sOMe CooL pHonE #'s t0 PhrEaK FoR pHoNe SeX

1-800-wet-clit
1-800-wet-girl
1-800-suck-off
1-800-big-tits
1-800-|-|4x0rs-mom
1-800-wangs-place
1-800-deez-nuts-on-your-lips

TrY eM oUt.. ThEy ArE KooL!@!@!#!@


≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈ 1-800-AbCdEfG ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

s0 LiKe i SeEN a LoT oF cOmmErCiaLz FoR tHiZ HuKt On PhUnIx ShIT.. AnD iTz
LiKe ThIz NeW TyPe oF BoX ThaT rAD-k00L. AnYwaYz I DeCiDeD iD CaLL ThE NuMbA
AnD s33 iF TheY wOuLd HoOk MuH uP fOr FrEE.. HeRe iZ dA pHoNe LoG.

<Recording> Thank you for calling Hooked on phonics if you would like to
speak to an operator please press 1 now.
<ME> j00 BiTcH I jUsT wAnT mUh BoX.
<Recording> If you would like more information about our products please
press 2 now.
<ME> JeaH TeLL mE BoUt ThE bOxEZ.. AnYtHInG lIke ThE aNaL bOx?
<Recording> Please make your selection now
<ME> UmMmM BiTCh? *HiTz dA 6 KeY* WaKe uP whOrE!@#!@
<Operator> Hello?
<ME> OhHHHHHhH YoU SouNd SeXy...
<Operator> Sir I think you might have the wrong number.
<ME> NaW BiAtCh... ThiS iS FoR tHe PHoNiX BoXeS RiGhT?
<Operator> This is the number for Hooked on Phonics, yes.
<ME> /<-KoOL.. GeMmE BoX oR j00 GeT PhrEaKeD.
<Operator> Excuse me sir?
<ME> BoXeS bItCh? d0 YoU hAvE aNY?
<Operator> No im sorry sir we do not.
<ME> WhaT ThE FuX WhOrE j00 HaVe aN aD oN tV f0r iT!@!#$!@$@
<Operator> Hooked on Phonics comes in a box.
<ME> ReD bOX?
<Operator> Cardboard box.
<ME> BiTcH KnOw oNe CaRdBoaRd BoXeS AnYMoRe
<Operator> We do.
<ME> d0 I GeT AnY ExTrA ThinGz?
<Operator> Add-ons cost extra.
<ME> j00 BiTcH i HaVe t0 PaY f0r ThiZ sHiT. iLL rEd BoX iT fRoM JeW. YouR
GOnNA DiE bITcH!@!#!@#!@#
<Operator> *click*
<ME> i 0wN j00!@!#!#!
*dial tone*
<ME> i 0wN j00!@!@#!@
<New Operator> If you'd like to make a call please hang up and try again.
<ME> 0wNeD
<ME> *hAngZ uP*

StUpId biTcHeZ i SHouLd SuE fOr FaLsE aDVeRtiSinG.

*****************************************************************************
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=[ lEtTeR fRuM |-|4x0r aT kAmP ]=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

    iM aT kAmP wAnG! iT sUx0rEz, iM hOpInG tO gEt sUm tHo. In FaCt
I mIgHt aLrEaDy hAvE goTtoN sUm, dOnT tElL aNyOnE bUt I wAs iN dA sHowEr
tHiS mOrNiNg aNd tHiS bIg FaT deWd cAmE uP aNd StArTeD tAlKiNg 2 me AnD
i WaS aLl LiKe, 'Im A hAx0r PlEaSe sTaY awAy oR iLl b3 fOrCeD tO bREaK
oUt mY bl00 bOx' tHeN hE sAiD "j00 dO dAt bIg bOy, wHoOpZ i DrUpPeD mY
sOaP kAn j00 PiCk It uP 4 m3!@#!@?' sOz I sAiD oKeY dEn i BeNt oVeR
aNd tHeN I fElT dIs uN-l33t fEeLiNg iN mY aSs, iT tRulEy Sux0rEd. hE uSeD
bInD a DiLdO 2 A sOcKeT oN mY aSS!!@#!#@!#$@!#!@#@# i FoUnD oUt hIs
iNf0z tHo, hIs nAmE wAs EmMaNuAl gOlDsTiNe aNd HeZ dAt fAt wH0rE lAyMuR
fRuM 2600!@#! (pLeEZ dOnT tElL aNyOnE!!@#!)

    aNyWaYz, eYe WuZ aT lUnCh tOdAy aNd i sTaRt3d 2 wUnDeR, cOuLd
mY pEaZ aNd cArRoTz bE pHrEaKeD?! sOz i BrOkE oUt mY pOrT sKaNnEr aNd
pRoCeEdEd tO SkAn Da BiTcH fOr sEnD mAlE h0leZ, bUt 2 mY sUrpRiZe tHeR
wASNt AnY, i THiNk tHat pEaZ aNd CaRrOtZ mIgHT bE dA mOsT sEcUrE tHiNG
oN dA pLaNeT, bUt s33 iF j00 cAn WrItE a kOdE dAt wIlL hAx0r dEm! j00
k0dEr j00!

    aLl Da KaMp mAsTaH'Z ph33r m3!@# h0 h0 h0! wElL IvE aLso BeEn
eXpErImEnTiNg wItH nAtUrAl aNaRcHy, yOo kNoW hOw pEOpLe aLwAyz tElL j00
y00 cAnT fLy, wElL i ShOwEd dOs BiZniTchEz uP bY ClImBiNG oN a Tr33 aNd
jUmPiNg oN dIs cHiC. I hAx0rEd h3r gUd too! wElL iM gOiNg tO gO h3x eDit
sUmPtIn.

                        p33sE 0uT!
                        |-|4x0r!

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=- [ Da HaX0r BrOz. FaQ!@# ]=-=-=-=-=-=-===-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

wE gEtZ tOnZ oF MalE wIt QuEsTiOnZ aBoUt uS, wE tRy To ReSpONd 2 aLl Of
j00 bUt W3 jUsT kAnT! sOz I, |-|4x0r hAvE dEciDeD t0 mAkE a HaX0r BrOthErZ
fAq (FrEeqUeNCy AxEd QuEsTiOnZz@!#!)

Q: Are j00 guys l337?!@#?
A: yEs

q: Do j00 guYz hAcK?
A: YeS

q: dO j00 EvEr GeTz aNy?
A: hElLz jeAh!@#

Q: Im NeW KaN j00 TeAch M3?
A: nO

Q: CaN i J0In?
A: n0 j0r LaYmE!

Q: iS mY aNaL cAvItY sEcUrE!?@#?
A: wHaT vErSiOn oVe sEnD sHiT d0 j00 UsE?

Q: hOw old Are j00 guYZ?
A: 14

Q: wHuTz A bl00 bOx?
A: SeCreT hAx0r t00l!@#@#

Q: hOwZ |-|4x0rz MuNkEy?
A: HeZ dEd, cUz I aM wUrKiN oN aN aRtIcLe oN aNaRcHy wIt mUnKeYz

Q: wHuTz j0r fAvorItE moVie?
A: HACKERS!@#@!#@!#@!#!@#!@#!@#!@#!@#

Q: Are you guys k-kool?
A: YeS

Q: j00 gUyZ aRe 12?!@#!?
A: n0 14 bIzNiTcH!@#

Q: aRe j00 gUyZ rEaLlY rElAtEd
A: y3s hEs KiNdA mY cOuSiN tOO, bUt I wOnT gO iNto ThAt nOw

Q:wHat should I do if I meet you guys?
A: ph33r!@#

Q: Who is lame?
A: eVeRyOnE!!!@#@!

Q:j00 aRe 0wn3d!@#
A:j00 aRe 0wn3d!@#

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
--=====\\\========\\\======| nEwZ j00z CaN yEwSe! |=====///======///======--

JuLy 1, 1997 - GoD TrIeD t0 aTTaCK HaX0r Br0TheRZ bUt w3 HeX eDiTeD hIm AnD
mAdE HiM iNtO A SpeRm CeLL.

jUlY 4, 1997 - LoTz oF WieRd NoiSeS.. MoSt LiKeLy EmMANueL GoLDStIeN FarTeD
AnD aLL ThaT ShiTzNitCH CaMe OuT!

JuLy 8, 1009 - PhIbEr oPtIcK WrOtE A nEw VeRsIoN oF SeNdMaIL ThaT ExpLoItZ
a WhoLe iN MIcRoSoFt UnIx EuDoRa AnD 0wN j00r CoW.

JuLY 13, 1997 - HaX0r Br0thErZ DeCiDe t0 WrItE tHieR oWn MiCrOsOfT uNiX..
LoOk FoR iT s00n CUz ThiZ bItCHiN ThiNGY wILL Aut0 HaX0r AnyoNeZ AnUz.

JuLy 17, 1997 - I Got A StiFFy #!#!#!@#$!@$!@ I GoT A fUxInG HaRd WaNG!@!@
i WiLL pOsT pICtUrEs iF yOu WhoReZ WaNt eM!@1#!@#!@ MuH pEnuZ GoT BiG@! A
wHoLE lEeT 3 iNcHEZ!@!#@#!@ FuX JeaH!@~

jULy 19, 1997 - MiCheAl JaCKsOn GoeS t0 CouRt t0 FinD oUt iF hE iS ReaL oR
FaKe... ThErE ArE PeOpLe OuT tHErE rEmemBeriNG hiM aT oNe TiMe BeiNG BLaCk
AnD wHaT t0 Kn0w wHaTz uP wItH ThiS wHiTe GuY ClaImInG t0 b3 HiM. hE iS
ClAmInG tHaT SoMEoNe WhiTE bOXeD HiS FaCe...

juLY 23, 1997 - |-|4x0r WeNt WaLkiNG AnD sAw A bIG aSS DiNoSaUr.. w3 PlaNnED
t0 ReTiRe aNd b3 RiCh FoR fInDinG ThE BiG LiZaRd.. BuT iT tUrNeD oUt hE jUsT
aCCiDeNtLy WalKeD iN t0 SoMe DrIVe iN.. s0 wE aRe STiLL aRouND f0r JeW lAmurZ.

JuLy 25, 1997 - FaMoUS UnI-MaIlBoMbEr GuY BrOnC BuSteR GoT HoG tIeD bUh HiZ
GrAnDFaTheR.. BrOnC PLoTz t0 MaILbOmB HiM th0.. 3r337.

JuLy 28, 1997 - EmmAnUeL GoLdSTeInZ AnAl CaViTy iZ bl00 BoXeD (DiDnT thINk
wE wErE g0nnA TeLL j00 iN tHIs IsSuE eH?) wE HaVe HiM CryiNg oN ViDe0. j00
aLL SHoUlD g0 t0 #2600 oN EfNeT aNd AsK HiM aBoUt.. h3 iZ aLwAyZ oN.

JuLy 29, 1997 - i FiNNaLy WeNt LiMp AfTeR aLL tHoSe DaYz oF BeInG HaRd..

JuLy 30, 1998 - ThE mENtoR FInaLLy FouND pHrEaKinG SoMe AcId FrOm ThaT CraCk
HeaD CaPtAiN CruNcH... w3 TrIeD t0 GeT hIz AuT0grApH bUt h3 WouLdNt GiVe iT
t0 uS UnLeSS wE CaLLeD hIS pHonE sEx LiNe.

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈  HaCKiNG StUFFeD AnImaLz ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

oK.. HaXiNg StuFFeD ANimALz MiGhT SouND LaMe t0 j00 BuT iTz RaDiCaL. EvEr
TrY a SeNd MaIL ExPLoIt oN a MiSS PiGGy DoLL? Itz fUxinG k00l~!@#!@# j00
CaN LiKe d0 aLl sORtZ oF rAd StuFF. FirST piCk uP a PaID oF SeNdMaIL SCiSSorZ
AnD g0 t0 w0rK CuTTinG ThinGz. A SnIp SNiP heRE AnD a SnIP SnIp THeRE HeRe
A sNiP TheRe A SNiP EvErYwHErE A sNiP SnIp OlD mCDoNaLd HaD A heXeD PiG
OiNKY OiNKy... eReRerRRr.. SoRrY.. GoT KiNDa iNt0 ThaT. AnYwaYz... TheN
PiCK uP uRe SeND MaIl LiGhtEr... AnD bUrN tHE BitCH!~@!@! BuRn HeR GoOD!@!@
(MiZZ pIGgY SCaReD m3 aS a kiD.. s0 iM VeNtiNg). TheN LiKe RiP oFF hEr CloTheZ
AnD rApE thAt StuFFeD piGGy!! RaPE hEr!! iF thErE iS n0 HoLe TheN fuXiNG
GraB tHoSe SeNd MaIl SiCoSS0rZ aGAIN.. StAb A HoLE iN hEr aSS aND fUX tHaT..
iF uRe A CHiC FuXiNg TiE a DiLd0 t0 HeR aND fuX HeR!!@!#! JuSt ToRtURe hER
Sh3 SUx0reZ@!@!#!@!@$!@! AnYwaYs.. ArOUnD tHIs TiMe j00 ShoUlD haVe A CuT uP
RaPeD mIss PiGGy DoLL.. oH... JeaH.. j00 CaN j00sE AnY d0Ll j00 WaNt BuT
I wOUlD UsE HeR cUz ShE sUx0rZ. AnYwaYz.. s0.. uMMMmmM.. oH JeaH!@!@ JiZZ oN
hEr FaCe. TheN aFtEr j00 JiZzeD oN hEr g0 GeT SoMe RoPe.. AnD g0 OuTsIdE aND
FiNd A wIdE oPeN pLaCe.. AnD TiE ThE fuXeD uP STUfFeD tHIngY t0 iT.. s0
EvEryOnE CaN sEE tHE Cut RaPED buRNeD thING!!@@! HuMilaTe It!!! JuST MaKe
ShUrE j00 DiDnT EvEr AccIdEnTlY haVe j00r MoM SiGn "property of such and such"
oN iT... CuZ lIkE DaT hApPeNd t0 mE aND mY PaReNTz RuBBeD mY FaCe iN mY OwN
jiSm.. iT Sux0reD..


≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈  lAyMuRz Of thE MOnTh@!@ ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

ForeSt GuMp - YeAH i KnOW hE iS n0 HaX0r bUt FuXinG oH WeLL.. hE iZ LaMe..
ThE fUXoR tAlKeZ LiKe h3 g0t AnAL BOxeD.. AnD h3 RaN fOr n0 ReaSoN.. WhAt
A GiMP.

AbU - DeWd KiXeD mE oUT oF tHE QuiCKiE MaRt f0r AsKiNG iF h3 HaD ReD bOxEz.

CHiNeSe DeWd FrOm HaCKeRz - I tReId t0 CaLL ThIZ d00d AnD tEll HiM hE waS
31337 BuT hE iGnoReD mE... hE iS a LaMuR fAG n0w.

DeBBiE DOeS DaLLaS - LaMe PoRn MoVie.. NoT eNouGh ChiCz SuCkiN DicKz.

EmMaNuEl GoLDStIeN - InSeCuRe AnAL MunChKiN -NuFF SaId-

ThaT LiNuS LiNuX DeWd - CLaImS hE mAdE LiNuX.. LYiNg Wh0r3.

UnIx - ThInX iTz CooLeR ThEn MiCrOsOfT uNiX... HA U cANt RuN AoHeLL oN UnIx..

CaRoLYn MeInaL - ShE DiDnT sWaLLoW LaSt TiMe.

ALieNz - TheY aRe OuT tHErE BuT aRE t0 MucH oF pUSSieS t0 sh0W TheMsELVeZ..

l0pht - FoR MaKinG a NaMe THaT PeOplE ThINk iZ pRoNouNcEd LoW FaT..

AnD YeS t0 VeRY BiG GrOuPz w3 LiKe t0 SaY FuX j00 t0 ArE

1. FuXinG d0rkZ wItH AoL pAgeS AnD pUt tHe AnTi-AoL iMaGeZ oN ThErE paGe.

2. FuXinG d0rkZ wh0 TrY t0 TaLk LiKE uZ.. LiStEn. w3 ArE 31337.. n0t jEW..
GiVe iT uP BiZniTCh oR SuFFeR.. EmMANeUL StyLe.

****************************************************************************
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈ gReEtZ aNd ShOuToUtZ  ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

se7en - FoR LeTTiNg uZ Hax0r j00 WiTh OuT pUTTinG uP a FiGhT
BlUeRoSe - ShE HaTeZ eMMaNueL GOlDSTieN ALs0!@!#!
KciN - ******zero******
PoRn0 - GoT mY pEniZ STiFf
AoHeLL - ThE DeWd Wh0 MaDe iT MaILeD uS!@!@!
F.U.C.K - CuZ FuCk iZ a CooL wOrD
7thsphere - ThEy MaKe GooD PaNCaKeS
FaItH n0 MoRe - TheY DiDnT SeLL oUt WiTh ThiS aLbUm!!
AcIdAnGeL - I mAiLbOMbEd j00!@!!

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈ BBS'S OuR nEwZ lEtTeR iS dIsTiBuTeD Ayt ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈                                         ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈ /<aPtIn /<-RaDz BBS ----------------911 ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈ ThE fLoAtInG FaT gUy -------1800domenow ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈ g0LPH HeAvY sWiNgGeRz ----1800suckmedri ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈          www.dis.org/se7en              ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈                                         ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈